Posts Tagged ‘JOY’

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Nicknames

Wednesday, October 13th, 2010

I am not sure how many of you are aware that when I think about people I don’t think with names.  In my head everyone either has a nickname or an image that is associated with them.  It tends to be something that just kinda stuck from the moment I realized that I liked you.  For some that happens to be something in your profile (D4), for some it is how you looked the moment I noticed you (leaning on the wooden fence thingy), for some it is what I first called you when talking to my people about you (The Baby) …

The people who have names in my thoughts are my ‘family’.  That is how I know I love you… or how I realize it… Is this even making sense?  LOL – I mean really, a lot of you don’t even have your ‘real’ name listed in my phone.  But I still know how to find you when I need you.  Some of you have a different word/image association in my head than the one that was originally there.  But each and every one of you at some point in time or another had something other than your name that I knew you by.  Maybe this is why I am SO bad with names!!  I am sure this is also why I call people by the wrong name on occasion… Think about it; if you do, say something, or look like the image of someone else I hold in my head that is the automatic association that happens in my head and spews out my mouth.

Anyway… I just thought I would let the cat out of the bag for everyone.  It is only fair now.

Sleep sweet when you get there!

Smoochie kisses

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Funk

Tuesday, August 3rd, 2010

I feel like I am in a funk today… that usually means my period is right around the corner.  But I guess this could be a come down from last week.  I mean WOW, what a week!

Not only did Jeremy jump back in (and right back out again in a hurry), I also started training the baby fan boy (I am going to make some other woman very happy some day), I somehow fit a date in to my week as well, we also had the wedding, rehearsal dinner, girl night, indoctrination in to a family, joy, envy, LAUGHTER, the after party, making out with straight girls, a ton of drinking, short visits and a few sleep overs with Nick and some texts that never should have been sent. (and not all in that order!)

I heard things  and did things that made me feel totally irresponsible this last week… I also heard things and did things that made me feel like I was on top of the world!  Now I am going to take a bath and possibly do more yard work.  I will figure myself out one of these days… or maybe I should just let the dark cloud of PMS run it’s  course and decide that is all this is.

I feel like an idiot all over again when I say things like “I still wish I could love you enough for the both of us.”  OY!  I really need to get over myself.

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Ode to Derek

Thursday, July 22nd, 2010

I have known Derek since the summer before 7th grade.  He has been my best friend and my sounding board for as long as I can remember.  We go through months at a time where we don’t do more than play phone tag and occasionally leave each other messages.  Then we will do things like have 2 hour long phone conversations.  I can cry with Derek, on the phone… never tried that in person.  And last night I cried… (I am sure the 4 rather large glasses of wine helped).  I let out all of my worry AND got to crawl in to bed next to a Wonderful man (and thank YOU as well for being here last night, I appreciate that you were willing and able to sleep over here). So really, Derek… you are an amazing person and I thank you for who you are to me!  I really hope that I offer you the same peace of mind and comfort that I get from you about life and love.  You are my friend and I love you with every cell in my body (even the abnormal ones).  Smoochie Kisses (even though we KNOW that doesn’t work with us) *giggle*  You will open your eyes one day and see you like I do, and you will love you that much more.

I slept well and realized (with a little help from some universal calculator love) that there is no point to worrying.  What happens will happen and i will deal with that too.  I also KNOW that Friday’s dinner is a not good (not BAD either) idea, but I need it so i am going to do it anyway!  Though I am sure that we all know that about me already.

Big heart, hard head, strong will, great smile, loud laugh.

Hopefully the sex ban gets lifted today!  *grin*

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Outlook Good

Monday, July 19th, 2010

On a happier note – My week plans are looking to be rather awesome and amusing.

Today was a run around and get shit done day that went like this: MOM magickally arrives and is willing to hang out with Rashell so I can run around town.  I get to the SCC Bookstore only to find out that I can’t even FIND what BOOKS I NEED until Aug 30th let alone buy them early – then I find out that I can’t get the Training Bene’s from UI because the Pre Reqes for nursing take too long… NEW PAPERWORK and I go back on Thursday morning.  Go to get car registered in WA… get sent to emissions testing, back to licensing – GOT THE PLATES.  I can now go downtown without getting a ticket.

Tomorrow I will Cut and Color my mom’s and Rashell’s hair.  Then we get to pack Rashell for her vacation (think she will fit in the backpack).  This does mean that I have to get the laundry done.

Wed – I take mom and Rashell to the airport, then I have a date to teach the little boy (he is 21) that graveyards are not scary and that this one really doesn’t have Zombies… ah the life lessons some people need.  Nick is coming over at so yet undetermined time to make sure that I sleep at least a little bit.  *kiss* you rock!

Thurs – I have a morning appointment to see the UI dude at the school again to fill out my new paperwork packet so I can get Unemployment while going to school.  I have the Cervical Biopsy thingy at 230… then I am free.

Friday – I may very well end up watching another Star Wars movie since David has made it his sworn duty to make sure that I see all of them before he flies back to CA for Fall Quarter.  Then sometime after 7 Jeremy is coming over for dinner, talking and a possible walk.

Saturday – I am going to spend time at Pete and Andrea’s house (if this is OK with them) making sure the yard and deck are all ready.  I may even go out dancing at Irv’s at night… I may or may not be bringing Cellar Girl with me.

I guess I also need to add that I will be finishing the Wedding gift somewhere in the middle of all that… I will also eat and water the lawn.  I may even mow the grass that I am trying to kill.

Well I am off to have the recommended Candyland Dreams.

sleep sweet when you get there…

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Bliss

Sunday, July 18th, 2010

Rashell and I had a VERY rough start to our week.  I know it was a bit of both of us… but I am the MOM, so I admit to no such weakness.  I decided that running TO the lake would be a good way to end the horrid week.  My mom happened to be going out there on Thursday so we went over to her house and road out there with her. I also invited Nick to come out after work on Friday.  Not only did I want his company but the lake is a great place to forget about and/or sort through any life stress that may be going on… and life is just better all around with good company.

We FINALLY got to the lake on Thursday.  My step sister (karina, not the evil one) and her family were there.  My mom AND Rashell didn’t like the idea of me staying in the Red Cabin so I got the Basement of the Blue House all to myself.  Bob didn’t make it out Thursday night so Rashell slept with my mom… I got to read with a glass of wine and a bowl of stuffed green olives before I went to sleep that night.  Utter Bliss!

Friday – I got in the water… right after my one cup of coffee.  Wow, talk about COLD.  I swam 4 laps between our dock and the next one… and then i was done.  needed to get out and warm up.  My mom and I spent a lot of time talking… we even talked a bit about Nick (surprisingly she didn’t ask the first question she USUALLY asks, SHE says it is because she already KNEW the answer…) since I told her I had invited him out to the lake.   My step sister and Fam left the lake early Friday… Rashell played most of the day with the girls next door and I read a LOT.  I completed the Curly Q Scarf… but upon looking at it realized that i had made a mistake somewhere at the beginning so my Mom and i pulled the WHOLE thing out and I started over.   Nathan and Bob joined us for dinner (this is around the time my mom told me that Nick wasn’t going to come) and it was great.  Nathan is a TON of fun, and interesting to talk to.  Nathan and Bob left after dinner and my mom and Rashell and I went out in the Kayaks… but only for a little while.   Nick called at some point in the evening and said he was going to head out.  I told him the place would be easy peasy to find in the dark.  my mom said I am mean.  He did find the house.  Rashell and mom were already asleep… Nick and i had wine and talked out on the dock under the stars till he was chilly enough that we needed to move inside.  All I am going to say about after that is that I went to sleep happy and satisfied.  That man is wonderful!

Saturday – Love me some waking up not alone… then it was coffee and more swimming.

Nope, I am done with the play by play of the weekend… who cares what I did one moment to the next.  It was a blissful weekend!  I really like Nick, he is awesome and I feel so … wonderful (cause that is what comes to mind at the moment) … when I am with him.  He is all hot and sexy and unassuming.  I am not sure what he is thinking half the time, but I kinda like that.  That said… we stayed an extra night after my mom went home since Nick was willing to drive rashell and I back to my car this afternoon.  I am a little sun burned and have a couple of sore muscles from playing on the water toys with all the kids, but I feel great…

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My garden

Wednesday, June 30th, 2010

I don’t even think she knows it, but my best friend just paid me the best compliment!  She said that my garden looks like something she would thing to see around an English Cottage.

I have always wanted to live in a little stone cottage (with neighbors far enough away that I could run through fields of wild flowers naked in the sun with my head thrown back in laughter).  I wasn’t planning “cottage garden” or anything when I planted everything.  I just kinda plant things willy nilly till my garden is exploding and I have to start digging things out and moving them, or giving them to other gardens.  I have this idea in my head that I don’t want to plant anything that isn’t worth the water it takes to grow it.  This is why I am slowly getting rid of my grass.  I see grass as such a waste of water!  I will keep the grass on one side of my front yard for picnics and the like… BUT I see that as the land earning it’s water (maybe I should water it then huh?).

I would LOVE to get chickens one day, but I have a hard time taking care of the plants and animals  and people I currently have.  I am prone to lapses in attention that tend to lead to a momentary lack of water.  I am really good with hearty plants!  I am currently planning a shade garden, it will be a flower explosion of bliss to boarder the picnic area.  I would like to hear suggestions on what should go there… I would be looking for useful herbs, anything eatable and bulbs.  The shade garden has partial to full shade areas (the house next door has a HUGE tree) and I need to be able to rake leaves off the plants, so I can’t plant anything fragile.  Though knowing me what will happen is that I just plant what ever tickles my fancy at that moment and I will watch it to see if it can take the shade… the things that can’t will be moved to a more sun location in time for them not to die.

And such is life in the accidental cottage garden that is my home.

THANK YOU Jaspenelle!

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Shoulda

Tuesday, June 29th, 2010

I should be cleaning right now, but I have decided it is more important to finish my coffee.

This morning the Universe told me to see each new person I meet as a band new challenge to fall in love.  For the most part that is exactly how I view the world.  I love easily, and often.  I am in love with everyone of my friends from the ones I have just met to the ones I have known since I was 8 to the ones I am about to meet.  Why not?  There is staying power in the people who pull at my heart strings.  I know that our society gets all romantical weird about the saying “I love you”, this I have never understood.  If you are worth my time you are much deserving of my love as well, it shouldn’t make people get all weird and back away slowly (ok ok ok, let me tell you right now that THAT is MY usual reaction when someone tells me they love me).

I Love You has been used many times as a tie, kinda like bondage but not nearly as fun.  The ones that catch me by surprise make me want to throw back my head and laugh.  Then there are the people who really are just passing through, fleeting moments of fun but they just don’t pull at me that way… the staying way.  I don’t see a difference in how I FEEL  about the staying people in my life.  There are some people I have a deeper connection with, but that comes from what we have gone through together.  You would be amazed (I was) at how MUCH a connection to a person can change once you have help their hand through labor, or stood with them at their wedding, or watched them grow and change along side you for the last 20 some odd years.  There is no way to HAVE that kind of connection with someone who recently came in to my life… why should there be.  But I can still love them with the same unconditional well with which I love all my people.

And you are all my people, my family, my lovers (body and spirit), my friends.

There is a magick in that, one that creates a Peace at my center… YOU are all my grounding force.

So, thank you for all that you do.

Thank you for being you!

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Unpacking

Monday, June 28th, 2010

My mom and I spent the day going though a TON of the boxes that I still have packed and in the basement storage room.  That means I spent the day going through my past… Like the old shannon life.   I found my “should have been an engagement ring”, the sex DVD, pictures of a naked sailor, some of the VERY tame pics from the House of Sin, Father Farm!!, all the stuff I wrote … poems and short stories, a lot of letters people wrote to me (I dated some real odd balls… just let me tell you), the picture that Shawn drew fro me and Anthony, My scrap book and all my dolls… among other things.

I did not find the title to my car SAD!.

I threw a lot of stuff out and designated a lot of stuff to be given away.  I really don’t know why I held on to so much for so long… and I am not just talking about things.

All gone now.

The reminds help me to laugh now.

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Stormy

Wednesday, June 23rd, 2010

Oh the things a good Summer Thunder Storm makes me want to do:

Dance naked in the rain

lay in the grass and watch and feel the storm passing

Have soft and slow sex with the rain falling on us

Splash in puddles

Have someone feel the rain all over my skin

SHIT!  I really need to get my gates fixed so I can play outside naked!

Gavin had better show up and fix them… he owes me *smile*

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Date Extravaganza

Tuesday, June 22nd, 2010

I took someone special on a date yesterday and it turned out to be the perfect day!

First we went out to eat at The Onion.  It was great. We talked about our weekends (since we both had very exciting ones) and talked a bit about life and future plans.  After lunch we went out to see a movie, we decided on Toy Story 3.  The movies was VERY well done, and I got to knit in the theater.  After the movie we discussed out options.  My date mentioned wanting a Mohawk dyed red and I mentioned that I could do just that, so we walked around the mall for a bit.  We found a store that sold puppies, they were SO cute.  Then we stopped by Victoria Secret and my date got to help me pick out a new bra.  We finally found a beauty supply store and got the ingredients we needed to dye a Mohawk red.  As we were leaving I realized that I didn’t have any hairspray at home… Another trip was required.  By this time it was dinner time so we went out to dinner at the China Garden (they have the BEST food in this city, and they are willing to make my favorite things Gluten Free!).  After dinner we stopped into ShopKo for hairspray, and we both ended up getting a new pair of shoes.  Then we headed back to my place where we proceeded to give my lovely date a Fire Red Mohawk and dye my bangs Copper Red.

The best date EVER!

My daughter is so freaking CUTE!

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